Surrogacy Take 3!

Just a few moths after having the twins, I felt like I should do surrogacy again. I thought since I wasn't getting any younger, if I was going to do it again, I should do it quickly. I talked to Brandon and the kids and they were all on board.

The last surrogacy experience was truly amazing. We had to talk to the kids and explain that this time might not end the same as last time. Our previous couple is now apart of our extended family and we couldn't expect to have that kind of luck again.

We had most of the paperwork already done since our last surrogacy journey was so recent. This sped up the process and we got matched very quickly. In March of 2013 we were matched and had plans to do transfer in May. 

Once the match is made, the not so fun stuff starts. You start going to the doc weekly. You have ultrasounds before you are even pregnant to make sure your lining is thinning and thickening like its supposed to. Then they add in the blood draws and medication. There is usually a combination of the following medications:

Prenatal vitamins

Estrodial

Lupron(shot)

Progesterone & Olive Oil (shot)

Progesterone suppositories

Brandon & I traveled to Connecticut and had the transfer May 25th 2013. After transfer, you have to wait two weeks for the blood test. This is the LONGEST two weeks ever. I go in, in the mornings and get my blood work but don't get results till the early evening. When the phone call came I could tell by the tone of her voice it wasn't good news. I honestly wasn't prepared. I get pregnant and got pregnant so easy the last time. I felt so bad and wondered what I had done wrong.

At the end of June went to Sweden to go visit our 2nd IPS and the twins. During this trip we had the opportunity to spend some time with our current IPS. We had a great time and it helped me be even more excited for the next transfer.

During the 2nd transfer I suggested we use the same medications in the same doses we had when I got pregnant with the twins. This made me feel more confident since I new it had worked so well. August 16th I went for the 2nd transfer. My mom traveled with me this time.

Again was the Long two week wait. The results were in and I was pregnant. Of course I was... It didn't even phase me. I was over the moon excited to tell my IPS.

I started bleeding a few days before the six week ultrasound and was in pain. I went to the doctor and they said I had a urinary track infection. They told me not to worry. I went in for the ultrasound and couldn't wait to be reassured everything was okay. They couldn't hear the heartbeat but thought there was one. They wanted me to come back in a week for blood work. When I went in my levels were still high so they scheduled an ultrasound for a few days later. They couldn't find a heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing. I was devastated and confused. I had gotten my IPS hopes up and then let them down. I didn't know what to say or do for them.

After a couple weeks I went back to the doctor and they said I would need a D&C. I went to my OBGYN a few days later and she said all was fine and she didn't think I needed a D&C. A couple weeks later I went back to my surrogacy doc and he insisted I still needed a D&C.  Needless to say I ended up with a D&C in Oct.  I was terrified. I had never had a surgery, besides my less than pleasant C-Section and I had never been put under. 

January 17th 2014 I went for the 3rd transfer.. 

I knew this one had to work. I had only agreed to attempt three transfers. While waiting for the two weeks to pass, I didn't feel myself getting excited I was very nervous and started having doubts. Even though I thought I didn't get too excited, I felt devastated when the results came in that I wasn't pregnant. How could I tell them that I wasn't pregnant???

A few weeks had gone by and me and my IPS had sent a few messages checking on each other. Finally, I reached out to them and let them know I was willing to continue this Journey with them if they wanted me to, but if they didn't I completely understood. We decided that we all felt like we should continue this process together.

In July Tabitha and I traveled for the 4th transfer. I felt confident that things would work this time. By the time the two weeks had past I was nervous and didn't feel like I was pregnant. I was hoping and praying and felt like it had to work. The results were in and I wasn't pregnant. How could this be. I was very angry. I wondered why God was not letting this couple have a baby. They kept having disappointment after disappointment. I struggled with what I was doing wrong to make so these transfers weren't working. 

Only my parents and a couple close friends knew that I was doing this and I was at this point trying to hide it from them. I didn't want them asking me if I was pregnant. I was having a hard enough time dealing with it and wanted as few people to know as possible, 

This is the point I started to slightly understand the struggles and emotions people with infertility go through. This wasn't even my baby and I didn't know if I could stay on the roller coaster ride. Besides the emotions the medications were going to make my husbands and kids disown me due to the mood swings. Extra Hormones + me equals moody...

I told Brandon I wasn't sure if I could keep doing it. Then a hard dose of reality set in for me. This couple was counting on me. How could I give up on their dream. Would I stop if it was the one trying for my own child. So the journey had been rough but I couldn't even imagine how it had been for my IPS. I decided, I had to continue. How selfish would it be to stop, just because the journey had gotten rough. 

Before the next transfer Brandon, Tab, Car and I fasted and prayed. Carston traveled with me for the 5th transfer. He said he was my good luck charm.  We did the transfer on Sept. 26th. The two week wait seemed even longer than any of the previous times. I got the call and I could tell right away it was good news. I was pregnant. I was over joyed and scared all in one. I called my IPS right away and told them the good news. Hearing there excitement was wonderful. 

I had to travel to the Philippines for work. While I was there I got super sick and ended up with a Kidney infections. I was less than six weeks pregnant alone and having to go to the doc in a third world country, this was a very scary experience for me. I was so scared that I would lose the baby. I got prescribed medicine that wasn't good for the baby, luckily I checked with my doctor in the US. I also had a friend in the Philippines that is a nurse and she told me I could go to the pharmacy and get the right medication. 

After returning to the states I started to spot the morning of my ultrasound. I thought not again. please don't let this happen again. I think the last time I prayed so hard was when Tayson was really sick as a baby.  We had my IPS on for the ultrasound and they saw and heard the heartbeat. They saw a separation in the sack lining and said that was probably the cause of the bleeding. Over the next 8 weeks the bleeding would come and go and I would end up in the doctors office. I have never had any issues while pregnant so even when they told me not to worry I worried. The doctors instructed me to take it easy and told me not to lift anything. That was difficult considering I had a two year old. My family and I knew I had to be careful. Every time I tried to be helpful I would end up bleeding so I would go to work and come home and lay in bed. I slept a lot and did very little for my family. Thank heavens for my husband, kids and parents. They really stepped up and made so I could take care of my body and the baby. 

We just had our IPS here. They went to the ultrasound and found out what they were having. I stopped wearing my jacket and scarves so people can now really see that I am pregnant. I have had so many questions so I decided to write this very lengthy blog post. I am happy to report the baby is doing great and is due in June!